Storming the Court

Pat Forde finally writes something funny.

Here are some rules on when to storm - espn.com

A few of my favorites:

• The Old Money Principle (2): Look up at the ceiling of your gym and count the banners. If your school has won three or more national titles in its history, you shall not rush the floor at any time. Schools affected: UCLA (11 titles), Kentucky (seven), Indiana (five), North Carolina (four), Duke (three).

Your program has won big games before. Act like it.

The Old Money Principle clearly puts the Indiana student body in violation of The Forde Minutes' protocol. Especially when the vanquished team, Illinois, owns zero national titles of its own. How terribly tacky.

AMEN!!!

• The Middle Class Principle (11): If your program plays in a major conference, has some basketball heritage and takes itself fairly seriously, court stormings should be reserved for: upsetting a top five team; knocking off an unbeaten league rival of particular dislike; ending a period of extreme and elongated futility against an arch rival; clinching a conference championship.

Under this principle, Iowa is hereby indicted for its floor rush Tuesday night after beating No. 11 Indiana. (In fact, it's flatly inexcusable on any level, other than the boredom that January in Iowa City can precipitate.)

Funny!!

The Bottom Feeder Principle (13): If you're North Dakota State, still on the D-I taxi squad, and you shock Wisconsin? Go crazy. Even if it's a road game. Break into the home gym and storm that sucker.

Poor Bucky... I don't think I heard 'Jump Around' coming from Madison on Saturday.